night at computer, hmmm

It's a 4.a.m. and I'm still at computer, searching and browsing other blogs - goodness, what am I doing? Isn't it time-wasting? I should be sleeping! By the way - Ada hasn't woke up even once till now! Or when she did she just said: "tata" and "ongo" which is her word for a tail and fell asleep again. Usually she wakes up twice. And want to eat. So I have to breastfeed and sooth her. And I usually fall asleep then. Leaving computer running.... Strange - but her sleeping so calmly shows that our Cape Canaveral-size bed is not spacious enough for the three of us. How to make her sleeping in her own bed? I'm a lauzy mother. When I come back after a half of a week absence to tell the truth I want her by my side! That's the main reason. She is 1,5 year and still breastfed, because it's good for her and lovelyfor me.

Tommorrow night will be sleepless as well - I'm going to Torun by train! Sigh.

Yesterday I was trying to upload the result of a personality DNA but I couldn't so here it is - it's confirmed - I have a personality!!! :)


Visiting other blogs I found such a quiz - what colour I am. Hm. well well

You Are A Blue Girl

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What Color Girl Are You?

But the most of fun I had with this quiz - what American English I speak - hehhehe,

Your Linguistic Profile:

40% Yankee 30% General American English 20% Dixie 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I can not analyse the results of this one, so I do not know if my English is understandable or not, I sound like a countrygirl of educated person. (Lack of data and impossibility to analaze makes me feel uncomfortable!). That's the only bad side of writing in English when it's your second language. 20% Dixie means that I use words from Luisiana? Or countryside girl's? Goodness...

OMG - speaking of language: right now I've noticed that comments and information on blog layout are in Polish! It used to be in English, so it's fresh new! Good! Very good. Propably I switch it unconciously. Unconciously - exact word for me. If I want to write in English and to manage without Polish, it's not useful. Or it is? But that's my mother's tongue. (it's interesting that in English you call it that way, when in other European languages it's a rather connected with a father, which is not proper: maybe fathers are inspiring for children but they are mothers who teach children to speak, I believe). No, no, no - too late for sitting and time-wasting.

Respect habitats. Knut.

polar bear in the sea
Originally uploaded by lalootka.

Well, it seems I started making polar bear just in time - Dec. 5, 2006 Knut, first polar bear in Berlin zoo, was born. Sad story actually, because, after the death of his twin brother, mother rejected him and poor baby is raised by humans. And zoo workers use his cuteness to promote Berlin zoo, at first, and the idea of environemt and habitats preservation - this very Respect habitats. Knut . Excellent idea, of course. But I haven't been to zoo for ages - I have mixed emotions about it. I'd like Ada to know bio-diversity of earth but I pitty those animals living in cages (though they are not cages).
And I pitty Knut - I know that I anthropomorphise the cub of the polar bear, but - 6 months cub is a tiny baby, isn't it? And he lives without mama. His mama is 3 meters tall predator, but it's a mama!
I accessed Design Can Change programm and made a pledge: to do my best to design with a least effort for nature. Which means using pre-loved materials (I love this word pre-loved, I saw it at Maki Squarepatch site), maybe natural cotton or wool stuffing. That's a challenge. But actually, even dishwashing or morning shower can be a challenge. Or diet!
Life is not easy.
My students are funny - they were writing esseys at the Medical anthropology seminar about various types of alternative medical treatment. And they did it fine - quite fine. But just few of them had real anthropological conclusions and showed me the context of such phenomenons. On the other hand I apprieciate their point of view, way of thinking which is so different than mine. I'm quite satisfied with the seminar programm and result - "quite" means that we should have more time for such project than just one semester.

I envy Tony - on this picture - he can swimm all day long. Today is unBEARable heat and swimming in such a cool blue water like he does would be relief for everyone.
(...Maybe I should make larger bears - polar bears are the largest bears in the world. I'll think about it....)

lamb Amelia dreaming 'bout Australia

lamb Amelia dreaming 'bout Australia
Originally uploaded by lalootka.

Yesterday night I made this pal(m) creature - it's rather tiny, bit less than my palm's size. The shape of her body is the simplest possible - just oval. As a black sheep of the family I chose my favourite colour - but her mother withh be larger, for sure. Because I want to make mother-sheep. White. They'll suit to my story about Lucinda. But this lamb is not Lucinda, it's Amelia.
(I'm not especially satisfied with a photo, but so far I don't want to make another one).

Ms Malgosia called to offer us a kitty, the real one - two months old, grey and black kitty, and to say that Tony and Franky bear brothers are fine and kids like them. Though she was frankly enough to say, that all four parents of boys like them even more! Well, it happens. But she said, she loves them - I apprieciate her taste and opinion.

When Ada was napping and I had an hour for myself, I got a brilliant idea - how to connect my social anthropology with my artistic ambitions and soft toys making. Today I won't say a word about it, first I have it thought detailed. And to make sure I can make it. And that I will.

If this idea won't work maybe I'll follow Amelia....

indie business and VR

Blog managment is not an easy thing, I've noticed. After some hours of other blogs survey I think that generally people put a lot of effort to achieve popularity. And that's ok. So should do I. Let's call it investement: of time, work and attention.

Speaking of investment: so far I have to stop my flickr activity because I almost have the amount of 200 photos I could use. It would be better not to buy a pro account before I don't have some more stuff in stock. And that means some fabric stashes, felt and polyfil to buy. Besides, gazing at other's works took my precious time - though I loved it!!! I met so many wonderful artist there, so many tallented people. Thank goodness for internet. On the other hand: I've even dressed my yahoo avatar in t-shirt of the ONE campaign. And today I was watching if Krista published any new photos on flickr - why? To know if she's OK! Her labor day is soon. Then I realized that's the Matrix - the reality I just believe in. I know Krista only as a flickr tallented photographer and sensitive pregnant blogger and what - I want to know if she'd delivered already or not! Slight contact and exchange of comments made me feel like knowing her very well. Strange thing, internet.

But - to contunue my first subject - I still have my goal in my mind: to make plushies and to draw for children. And some day to make clothing for children. Label "lalootka's attic" sounds good for me. Anyway - to be an indie designer, not a mass producer, of course. The reason is simple for me: I believe in educational and socializing role of handcrafts. Mass production does not have "soul" - handcrafted objects do. Generally people rather suffer from being just one of the mass and want to be unique and special. Handcrafted objects give you an opportunity to feel that not everything is produced in China yet. Popularity of any object with a tag "one-of-the-kind" is clear then. I don't see any other way of learning children the R-E-S-P-E-C-T :) for work of others, for their own work than to offer them beautiful, good quality, handmade objects: furniture, clothing, toys. And books of course - even books should escape from mass production. Idee fix? Maybe - but I just want to take my chance. Educating grownups in crafts is another thing worth thinking.

Well, I've noticed also that I collected a lot of interesting labels here - representing women's initiatives mostly! Good - I believe in girl's power. One of my faves is "the Moms pack" - I chose this button because as the only one it showed no too sweet and cute face of motherhood. Now I'm alpha female and can do anything to bring up my cub. My both cubs actually: Ada and "lalotka's attic". I'm so curious and excited if it's gonna work out! Goddess, help me.

I knew that something will start with a business - we moved into the house no 36 and in feng shui it's a number of investments and growing business.... :) We should live here some time longer and then move to home no 28 - "easy money", hehehe.



On the other hand - my survey through websites and blogs of indie designers will help Adam and DD to start with KazawaProject also. I believe that Adam will use my knowledge! Information is priceless, isn't it? I wanted KazawaProject to be a label gathering young Silesian artisans and designers of various fields, but so far Adam is interested only in jewelry. Summer will be test for us both (ot rather the three of us, counting DD) if what we do finds an interest and customers.

By the way: I received a custom order, tralalala. To make tiny animals for Noah's arc, fox plushie and blanket for a baby. Fortunately my "genius personal sewer" which means petite sewing machine works. Making blanket in hands only would take too much time.


Tommorrow I go to Toruń for final lectures with my students. And to start exams - I'll test them of ethnography of Poland and ethnography of Slavs. The worst thing for me is to give them notes - I want to be justice. Afterwords they will have a chance to give me a note - evaluation questionnaire, hm. I don't think I like it, but I understand the neccessity of such responce.

geisha? no, swap

After making another kimono for swap kitty I'm sure - I'm perfectionist. I love to do things right. And when I get a manual of kimono making (I am ethnographer, aren't I? So I searched for it among ethnographic archives - an article about kimonos collection in ethnographical museum)
I decided to make another one - better one, of course. It has double layers, as it should have, both made of cotton - so it's rather summer casual dress, with linen obi, Yukata more than kimono, which we associate rather with silk. I couldn't make a bottom white dress - it would be too much even for me. I was trying to make seams as invisible as possible. I'm quite satisfied now, at last. Poor Sari had to wait so long, I have remorse. I cut a photo of tea house from my favourite Elle Decoration :) to arrange the scenery, though I suppose (or I know) cotton kimono doesn't suit cha ceremony - it should be silk. I picked a black outer cotton with flowers that make an impression of plum blossoms - havin' five petals each, and white bottom cotton with twigs.

I prepared an ID of a kitty - her name is Izumi, Izumi Kazawa, and she is half Polish. Kazawa name is not a coincidence - it's my alias, Aloutka Kazawa, after Adam's name which is Kazała - and that sounds exactly the same. But Izumi again: she loves cha celebrations, peonies, midsummer and bluebirds. And red purses. (I decided to add red purses to every toy I make now - when Twinky Winky is suspected by gov. to be gay just because having purse, adding red purse is a joke and statement).And now - just to compare - a photo of Izumi. I called her after friend of ours, lovely girl, half Polish also. I hope that THIS Izumi will be as good kendo fighter, drawer and translator like this human one.

Another thing I made was my "business card" - I enjoyed making it, but actually I'm not sure if it's gonna work out. It's lovely to make handmade business cards but it's wasting time, isn't it? I can keep it also as a tag, or use an illustration. Anyway - drawing makes my day. I love aquarell pencils - and mix technique: some colours wet, some dry, pencil, PILOT V 5, and the result is quite satisfactory.
Few days without Adam here was very busy - Ada wanted my constant care and attention, and cryed loudly "dad" running around the house. And we made a lot of house work. I love my home clean and neat. We visited kindergadens, playing, having fun, building castles, reading books - for Ada pictures mostly. We had an walk to the forrest and saw goats and chickens - Ada was fascinated with feeding goats. While we were working hard, daddy amused himself in Prague - our beloved Prague. Amusement was not complete, he sais, without us, but I suppose he meant his pupils were not that sweet as Ada, though also very nice and intelligent. I'm sure they had had wonderful time together.
Ada still likes turquoise kitty. But she's fair enough to share her underarms and love between her and white teddy bear.

Children's Day part 2

When I get my parent's house on Lodz - I'm their twice a month visitor - we had a nice chat with Justyna and her boyfriend Johnny and mother late at night. Mostly about our unpleasant adventures with insects - Justyna and Johnny both have arachnophobia... :) and even discussing about spiders, fleas and other monsters made them thrilled. It's so nice to see them safe, happy (well, quite happy, Johnny has exams on his studies, and Justyna is waiting impatiently for the results of her high school final exams. But anyway - I love to meet them).

Sitting in a restaurant today I made a few sketches of Ada and me. When I'm longing work helps, especially sketching, sewing and inventing new toys. So here there are mother and daughter. Ada is keeping her toys - turqoise Kitty and girlie - bear Sophie (no night gown anymore) under her underarms - very fair. That's the way she really is keeping them while playing or going for a walk. Someday I will redo these sketches - they look interesting as drafts and I want them to be more detailed and clean. Sketching in restaurant is rather dangerous for paper, as I see now.
The below one is very rough but shows the most favourite place of Ada to sit. Hall stairs leading to our studio and my attic are fantastic and she loves to climb up there (with a help of our hands, of course)
I had some problems with posing "my" legs and feet, funny.

It's 3 a.m. right now - I suppose it's late enough to go to sleep.

International Children's Day

Another occasion for celebrations - everybody likes to have holiday and lots of fun with children today (o my, what rhymes, hehe). Beautifull weather helps to have outdoors activities. I'm in Torun, at the university, and next few hours will spend in train, travelling to Lodz. Since I just woke up this morning, I've been thinking about Ada and, poor me, children with parents are everywhere, and that's increasing my longing. I just received a sms from Adam with an information that Ada, after awakening, told him (which means she took his hand and lead him) to the kitchen to feed the cat. Charming! He was happy - he loves the cat and believes his daughter is special. But I have a contact with my special child just by a phone... Quite sad, actually.

By the way: the cat. That's an old photo of Kitty in cheongsam. I put it here because I hope to put another kitty's photo very soon. One-of-the-kind black kitty, name Izumi. And I want to have a fresh view for this one. To compare.

To chear up and to comfort myself I made some drawings of baby Ada and me but scanner doesn't function properly and I can not upload them, hrrrr. Well, I will do it later. Now I have to go, but maybe I'll add few words later today (when I get Lodz and a scanner).